Current mood:	numb
Current music:	Personal Jesus - Marilyn Manson

Sometimes I Hate Everything
Why do people that are supposed to support you say such hurtful things? Why must Mother act this way? She says she wished I had never started dancing, so that I would have spent more time on academics and made better test scores. Great. What about having a love? Screw that I guess, the only important thing in life is that damn ACT test. So what if I can never be a famous dancer? I don't care, I love the art. I've been thinking about quitting, just to please my parents, but then I remember the lovely year of tenth grade, when all I had was school. Wake up, skip breakfast and do school. Eat a five minute lunch, and if there wasn't anything, too bad, get back to work. Skip church for school. Spend literally my whole day doing school. Ah, the good ole days, when I nearly took my own life to end my misery. And my parents want me to go back to that?

I hate crying, it makes me angry at myself and makes me do bad things to myself. I take things to the inside and it will kill me someday. But I don't care. I even tried to cut my wrist, but the dang knife wasn't sharp enough, all it did was peel back skin. Wonderful. I feel somewhat ashamed though, I've never actually tried that before a few minutes ago.

I don't know if I made company yet, but even if I do I'm not sure if I'll go through with it anymore.